Lift Each Other Up

in the Lord

August 28, 2023

This morning in our Come Follow Me study, Jarom and I pondered on the scripture 1 Corinthians 11:11, which reads,

“Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”

While we have a very important role as mothers and homemakers, it’s important to remember that we wouldn’t be able to have this opportunity for raising and nurturing our families without our husbands providing for us.

There was a talk by Linda K. Burton from the April 2015 General Conference that was referenced in our study that addressed husbands and wives and mothers and fathers lifting each other up in the Lord. Sister Burton says in her talk:

“In a chapter about families, the Church handbook contains this statement: ‘The nature of male and female spirits is such that they complete each other.’ Please note that it does not say “compete with each other” but ‘complete each other’! We are here to help, lift, and rejoice with each other as we try to become our very best selves. Sister Barbara B. Smith wisely taught, ‘There is so much more happiness to be had when we can rejoice in another’s successes and not just in our own.’ When we seek to ‘complete’ rather than ‘compete,’ it is so much easier to cheer each other on!”

She goes on to talk about how most days, in the midst of the chaos and to-do lists that can sometimes constitute motherhood, she would be “so glad when daddy comes home”, as I’m sure we’ve all felt. As she admitted, I too have been guilty of placing all of my burdens on my husband as soon as he walks in the door, without greeting him with a kiss or hug or asking about his day first. And almost every time, he picks up those burdens I placed on him, and his crying daughter, and embraces me with a hug. Sister Burton counsels us to stop more often and focus on the things that matter most, like enjoying sacred family time together and thanking our husbands for blessing our lives.

Towards the end of her talk, Sister Burton challenges us to “test ourselves” by asking these five questions:

1. When was the last time I sincerely praised my companion, either alone or in the presence of our children?
   
2. When was the last time I thanked, expressed love for, or earnestly pleaded in faith for him or her in prayer?
   
3. When was the last time I stopped myself from saying something I knew could be hurtful?
   
4. When was the last time I apologized and humbly asked for forgiveness—without adding the words “but if only you had” or “but if only you hadn’t”?
   
5. When was the last time I chose to be happy rather than demanding to be “right”?
   

After learning a few weeks ago that one of my husband’s top love languages had shifted to “words of affirmation” since our early days of dating, I find myself feeling guilty about not being able to answer the first two questions. Rather than wallowing in guilt, I will use this as an opportunity to strengthen Jarom with kind words, and I hope that these thoughts I’ve shared will inspire you to do the same.