one month later -

a homemaking update

October 2, 2023

It’s been a little over a month since I published my blog, so ​I wanted to give a little bit of an update of my “progress as ​a homemaker” if you will. To do that, I want to revisit the ​qualities I wanted as part of my identity as a mother: ​patience, compassion, faith, and creativity.

P A T I E N C E

This is an area I can honestly say I’ve improved in. I’ve been ​a lot more patient and focused on having a positive ​mindset when it comes to taking care of my daughter ​during the day. I’ve found naps and sleep to be the most ​stressful part of raising a child, and often get frustrated if a ​nap is 30 minutes long or there’s a 4 am wake up and I can’t ​get her back to sleep. What I’ve found helps me is just ​resetting and adjusting. If the half hour nap happens at a ​bad time, then we have an earlier bedtime. I also have ​found my patience in something that might seem a little

odd: counting.

When you’re in the thick of it, and the baby is fighting sleep and all you want to do is go back to bed, it can feel like hours. But what I have found helps me feel less overwhelmed is counting to a set amount of time. Usually, I don’t even make it to the set time. Let’s say for example my daughter is all ready to go down for a nap - books, bottle, songs, blanket - and the minute I put her down she wakes back up. So I pick her up and now she’s wide awake and jabbering to herself. I tell myself that I will wait five minutes for her to go back to sleep. And then I start counting. Sometimes it takes her the whole five minutes (or however close to five minutes my counting is) and sometimes it takes her less. Then once I know she’s asleep, I count another two minutes before I put her down again.

Am I insane? Maybe. But seven minutes really isn’t that long. And in the times where five minutes rolls around and she’s still not asleep, I give her and myself ten minutes. And I truly don’t think it’s taken longer than that. And if it has, then we both stop trying and we move on to something else, because we’re flexible that way! (Now, anyway.)

Where my patience sometimes starts to run thin is with my daughter playing independently. Lately she hasn’t really wanted to do that, which makes getting household tasks done a little bit harder. She will play in the living room for a few minutes and then start climbing up my legs in the kitchen. I can only work on this blog while she’s sleeping because she will come and find me within seconds. When it’s urgent that I get something done, like making dinner, I usually put her in her highchair with some toys or a sensory bin so that she can’t crawl around my feet. But most of the time, I just have to stop what I’m doing and play with her for a minute. I try not to get upset at this since I know she won’t want to play with me forever, but it truly feels like I never get anything done.

Normally, I’d wear her in a wrap or carrier while I do stuff in the kitchen, but I’ve got a baby bump preventing me from doing that now. I sometimes just hold her on my hip for as long as I can, but my back can only take so much these days.

But overall, I’d say that I’ve grown in my patience, both with my daughter and with my cooking skills. I actually made some potato gnocchi for a copycat Olive Garden chicken gnocchi soup, and it didn’t take me that long and they were really good! I also made a loaf of artisan bread so that we could have grilled cheese the other night, and never felt overwhelmed about it. And that was also really good.

C o m p a s s i o n

I think my compassion has grown because my patience has grown. Because I am not getting into a bad mindset or getting frustrated with my daughter, I’ve found that I am more kind in my words and actions towards her. Not that I was mean to her before, but I definitely let impatient words out of my mouth or raised my voice a little in frustration. Which I’ve found I haven’t done in a while.

F a i t h

Our scripture study and prayer habits are still continuing, but I am not as focused or good at applying what I’ve learned as I was when we got into the habit. We do our study in the morning so that we aren’t falling asleep (both of us get really tired by like 8:30 pm, honestly) and it starts our day off “right”. I put “right” in quotation marks because I don’t know how much it's really doing if I’m just going through the motions of it. I try to listen to a conference talk while on my morning walk with my daughter, but again, it's really great to think about in the moment and then I feel like I don’t touch it again the rest of the day. I’m not sure how to fix this yet, but it’s something I would like to fix.

I also feel like lately I’ve been relying on the Lord only when I need something, or when I’m thankful for something. Neither are bad things to pray about, but I’m just going through the motions again instead of really trying to ponder about guidance I need or previous prayers that have been answered in ways that I didn’t expect. I’ve also been slacking off a bit more on my personal nightly prayers because I’m pretty much asleep by the time my husband and I are done saying our prayers together.

I’m not sure if our early-night-tiredness is due to how early we wake up in the morning, or that we are going to bed too early. Our daughter has been sleeping through the night for a while now (or only waking up once, maybe twice - knock on wood) so it’s not like our sleep is super interrupted. Either way, it’s just an excuse and I need to get better at keeping the spirit with me throughout my entire day.

I’ve also already been slacking on my Personal Progress, just like I did as a teenager. There’s no reason I need to complete it other than that I want to, and no one is holding me accountable, but that doesn’t matter. I’m going to get back on that wagon.

C r e a t i v i t y

I finally finished painting a cardboard house I had made for my daughter months ago, I decorated the house for fall/Halloween a few weeks ago, and I even DIYed some of the decorations that I got from the Dollar Store.

I also started doing “school” with my daughter, for about 45 minutes to an hour every day. It consists of singing a song, reading a poem and a book, and doing a craft centered around a theme. I got the idea from my best friend who recently started homeschool with her preschool aged son. The theme we’ve been doing is apples, and while it may seem over the top and unnecessary to some, it’s not hard, it’s something we both can do during our - let’s face it - LONG days at home together, and she’s at least learning a bit of language development and fine motor skills. I’m a teacher at heart, and I love themed stuff, so I’m going to keep on doing it. But it’s not because I’m trying to be extra or anything. I just genuinely wanted to find something to do to help pass the time that would be fun for both of us. At least I think it’s fun for her.

W h a t i s H o m e m a k i n g ?

I initially wanted to do an update about my homemaking journey so that I could tell you all what a failure it’s been. Before sitting down to write this, that’s truly how I felt. But I realized it’s because I was measuring my growth on an unrealistic scale. One that I think social media is promoting, and that steps away from the basics of what homemaking actually is.

Homemaking, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is: one who manages a household especially as a spouse and parent. The Oxford English Dictionary defines homemaking as: the activity of managing a home and taking care of the house and family. In terms of solely these definitions, I’m succeeding, and I’m sure a lot of you are too.

I like the “definition” that Clarissa R. West wrote in a blog post titled “What is Homemaking?”:

“To me, making a home means providing a comfortable place for my husband to come home to after a long day of working out in the harsh world.

It means providing a safe place for my children to live and learn.

It means keeping a clean house, though not perfectly tidy.

It means providing my children with a place of comfort and joy.

It means allowing messes and imaginative play.

It means my house looks lived in, yet cared for.

It means providing wholesome and nourishing food for my family, though not often gourmet or creative.

It means being available to care for the needs of those within my home.

It means being frugal and saving money where and whenever I can; groceries, household cleaners, etc.

It means managing my home well.

It means trying my hand at being a DIYer.

It means believing my current work is meaningful and purposeful.

It means taking my job as a homemaker seriously.

It means guarding our homes against spiritual, emotional, or physical danger.

It means embracing the role God has called me to fulfill in this season of my life.

It means making a home out of a house, breathing life into a mere structure, and praising God for His blessings and grace through it all!

Homemaking is a ministry and a very worthy one at that! Just do your best and pray it’s blessed.”

You don’t have to make bread everyday to be a homemaker. You don’t have to have wicker baskets for all your toys, shop exclusively at the farmer’s market, have a backyard with a giant garden and chickens… This is the “definition” I was trying to measure my progress against, and what I feel social media portrays the definition of homemaking to be. I tend to get so caught up in the way things look, and thinking I’d be happier if I had a certain thing or my house looked a certain way. But what matters is that I create a safe, happy, and warm home in my current circumstances, regardless of if I have a yard or fresh produce or vintage décor. I’m still trying to figure out my style/aesthetic, and really do like the aesthetic of most “homemaking influencers” on social media, but what I need to remember is just because I don’t have that now, doesn’t mean I’m not a homemaker or not worthy of sharing what I do.

I hope you know that if you’re also on a journey to become a homemaker, I’d argue that you already are one, you’re just learning how to be a better one. Acquiring more skills to benefit your family, making your home an even more welcoming place. And I think that’s all we need to be doing. If you didn’t make bread this week, you’re still cool.

P.S. - The photo at the beginning is from when I went to a little bougie picnic with some girls up the canyon! These crostinis I made are famous for being a hit at both mine and my best friend’s baby showers. I’ll have to post a “recipe” sometime!